Kau dalam hati saya.

You babe, are in my liver.

I'm sorry, boredom makes we weird. This holidays has turned out to be the best I've ever had. I'm even savoring every second of the boredom. I'm living it, holding it, embracing it. So close I can just taste it. And fyi, its good.

Yeah I sound like a food critique in one of those stupid Food Network shows. Damn them. take Nigella Lawson for instance.

This woman cooks up a storm, literally. With smoke and flames everywhere. That I can handle, cos its not like all that Carbon Dioxide or whatever is choking me. What pisses the poop outta is that she has this ridiculous tradition of eating the food she cooks at the end of each episode. And no, its not one of those pop-into-mouth-munch-munch-smile-at-camera-and-die scenes. Oh definitely not, Nigella Lawson will not rest without making everyone die in envy.

Firstly, she sniffs the food. Then gives a running commentary on it. For instance " This lasagna smells devastatingly lovely. And oh my, I can just smell the rosemary and parsley from here. Beautiful, beautiful."
Then she proceeds to take ONE SMALL BITE of whatever she has created. This of course is usually followed by " Umm umm, umm, oh god. Wow, that oh wow. That is just, oh boy. Yumm."

-.-

The bloody woman goes all speechless on us. Then she takes a HUGE breath, gathers herself and says something like " I'm sorry, that was just heavenly. I mean, I can just taste the juicyness of the chicken. The slight dab of pepper right there. Oh yumm." *licks a non-existent speck of sauce off the tip of her finger oh-so-sexily* " That was amazing, and if you guys would like to try out and enjoy this recipe log on to FoodNetwork.com."

With that she sashays away leaving us gawking at the completely breathtaking slab of lasagna or whatever she cooked that episode, on the screen. I mean, woman, talk about blowing your own trumpet. You like the food you cook, I understand. You rape the food you cook, of course I understand. You exhibit all this inappropriate behavior on daytime telly, I understand. But do it everyday for the past 12 years, I cannot stand.

Maybe I'm just jealous that she gets to stuff great food on a daily basis into her oesophagus while I'm here, a million kilometers away eating the usual diet of sambar, long beans with tauhu, and sardin sambal for lunch. Its a pathetic life man.

I swear I'll get back at you for this Nigella. I swear, some day.